Today I am going to wallow in self pity, the why me’s, the it’s not fairs, and the life sucks. And trying to avoid that wine bottle and chocolates that are looming large before me, looking mightily inviting. Or the biggest, cheesiest, yummiest pizza.
So why the pity party? Because my attempt at week 1 of the Couch to 5km ie 8 x 1 minute slow jog with a 90sec recovery was a dismal failure. It hurts to run 10 metres, let alone 1 minute. I couldn’t even compare my jog this morning to a jog, it was more like a pitiful slow shuffle. Lets face it, I won’t be running a marathon any time soon, despite what my physio says. He can’t feel the pain that I’m feeling when running. So I think I’ll be having an MRI to ascertain the extent of the tear. It’s obviously worse that we initially thought.
For me, the NY marathon is a once in a lifetime opportunity and its not the way I wanted to do it. I didn’t want to go over there to walk 42.2km. That wasn’t in my plans. But then, neither was a torn hamstring attachment. If only I could turn back time to May and to that second before putting on that burst of speed in the last 100m interval. But I can’t. Instead I have to get my head around the fact that I will be walking the marathon and that it’s going to take me about 7 hours.
So this morning I managed a 9km walk, with a total of 8 mins of painful shuffling. Actually I didn’t even complete the last 1 min jog because it hurt too much.
Later in the morning I had my regular monthly massage. Anne was lovely. She’s so calm and settling and listens without judgement. I always feel better once I leave her place.
Tomorrow is another day. The pity party will be over and Ms Positive will be back. Just let me wallow in my misery today.